It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize