I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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