He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
