You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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