i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
