Actions speak louder than pants.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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