Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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