his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the condom got lost in my hair
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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