I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
