She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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