standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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