Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
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I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
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Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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