Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
