I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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