Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
