I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
