Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
me + whiskey = a bad person
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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