Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
