Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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