she told me i tasted like america
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
