I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
