god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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