Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
