I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
