She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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