Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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