he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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