Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he just fucked me for my cheese.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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