yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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