For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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