so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize