Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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