I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
