I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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