My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
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I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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