I think I am morally bankrupt
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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