You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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