I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
