dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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