shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
