I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
