I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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