and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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