Sry I called you an 8
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
my being single is dangerous.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
