Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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