Plan B is the new Plan A
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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