if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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