batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
