i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
