I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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