i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
