Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
