I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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