I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize