Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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