Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
