We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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