I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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