At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
