..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize